oluola89 created the topic: How to tame a rebellious teenager
They slam doors and answer back. Their rooms are tips and they play music so loudly you can’t hear yourself think. No wonder, teenagers drive parents mad. But manners expert, Penny Palman says you can have well-behaved, well-mannered kids instead of arguments and aggression.
According to her, “Your child’s transition from a child to a teenager should be welcomed and not dreaded as if you were about to make a pact with the devil and nurture a werewolf.”
So, how can you turn your teenage tearaways into little angels? Here are some of her tips:
Respect them and they’ll respect you: Lack of respect is often the main reason for problems between parents and children. As parents, you have every right to expect your kids to respect you, but you have to show some too. Parents of teens often say things like, “He’s going through a phase,” or “What does she know? She’s just a child.”
But, think how you would feel if someone said about you, “Oh, she’s just a housewife.” It’s difficult not to criticise when you don’t like your teenager’s clothes or taste in music.
“It’s hard to sit back and let them make their own choices. But you must not try to quash or comment on every aspect of their lives.” Be polite and friendly when they have friends around.
Don’t ask any embarrassing questions and don’t put them down in front of their friends. It will not only annoy and upset your teenager, it will embarrass their guests.
Remember: It’s to your advantage to get on well with your teenager’s friends and to encourage them to visit. “When your children are at home with their friends, you know exactly where they are and who they’re with, which means two big worries are out of the way,” she says.
Don’t criticise unsuitable boyfriends or girlfriend: “You will have absolutely no say over who your teenagers choose to go out with. “ Palmano says, “In fact, more likely they are to continue the relationship.” Rather than saying something negative about your teenager’s boyfriend or girlfriend, focus on something good about them, praise their nice eyes or warm smile. Laying down the law and refusing to let the teenagers see their boyfriend or girlfriend will only make that person more attractive. Any unsuitable relationship is much more likely to fizzle out by itself if parents don’t interfere.
Eat together: Having your main meal together every evening gives you an “opportunity to talk to your teenagers. But, if you mention school or homework, they’re likely to shut down. Talk about their interest or an issue in the news that is relevant to them. Listen to their opinions and don’t tell them they don’t know what they’re talking about, just because you don’t agree.
Keep personal issues or thorny subjects such as being allowed to go out on Saturday night, away from the table.
Conversation is likely to end with someone storming off. According to Palmano: “Try to have a laugh, as laughter relieves the stress and is very bonding for the entire family.”